January 23rd

I have decided Wednesdays are my weigh-in days, so today I stepped on the scale! My weight loss goal for January was a safe 5 pounds, but of course I have been hoping for much more. On January 2nd, at the doctor's office, I weighed 201 pounds. Today, twenty-one days later, I weighed in at 195.4 pounds. This is by no means a pleasing number for me, but I recognize its value in being almost 6 pounds lighter than 21 days ago! Of course, the most frustrating part is that although I have been watching my exercise and food and feeling like a weight loss champ, today's number is a 0.4 pound increase from last week. However, I've got 8 more days left in the month, so I want to see where this can go!

Whew. Posting my weight in a public place, and being completely honest about it, is a big step for me. I'm happy because I decided today that it was time. This means that I am not only feeling better about myself and my body, but also that I am confident that I am headed in the right direction.

I haven't felt like this in a long time. Happy. Healthy. I'm even beginning to feel pretty again. It's amazing what losing a measly 5 pounds (while gaining some muscle and definition) can do to your outlook of yourself. 

I know this is going to be a long, hard battle. I have the unfailing tendency to self-sabotage time and again, as well as the unfortunate history of giving up when things get too hard. My only wish is that my boyfriend would join me on this journey. He's been grudgingly going to the gym with me most mornings, but his food choices haven't gotten any better, and he just doesn't seem to think that anything needs fixing! I worry because part of the reason I gained every single pound back that I lost before was because he wasn't onboard with my healthy lifestyle. His bad eating habits and sedentary lifestyle slowly crept their way back into my lives, so quietly that I didn't even realize it for the longest time.

This confidence and strength that I'm feeling means it's time to take it up a notch. I need to extend my cardio sessions, incorporate more lower body resistance work into my strength training, and be more vigilant about my calorie intake. Much as I hate to admit, it might be time to count calories again. Ugh.

This weekend, the BF and I are going north, to Colorado wine country. He's attending a conference, but I will be hanging out with his mom and little sister. I can't take this small break as an excuse to become a slacker! As I've learned before, even just a weekend of not working out makes me more likely to stop going to the gym completely when I get home.

I also can't use it as an excuse to eat what I want. His family has a lot of self-control when it comes to food, and generally has a lot of good snacks hanging around the house that they eat sparingly. Limiting my intake of these is crucial, as well as trying to limit my wine tastings, since alcohol makes me incredibly snack-ish. 

As I've found out before, having a plan helps me succeed. Guess that means I need a plan for the weekend!

Mini Weekend Away

Exercise:
~ Workout DVDs - P90X Abs, Cardio Kickboxing, and Jillian's No More Trouble Zones
~ Remember to pack workout clothes, yoga mat, water bottle, and 5-lb weights
~ Find a trail to walk/jog nearby if possible, for some fresh air!

Food:
~ Limit alcohol
~ Limit snacks. Bring lots of fresh fruit
~ Watch portions if eating out 

Other:
~ Catch up on sleep
~ Stay caught up on homework - if possible, use it as an excuse to refrain from unhealthy activities!
~ When stopping at Mouse's (best chocolate in Colorado), only get one piece!
~ Make myself proud

I guess I will see how it goes...all I'm concentrating on now is getting through 8 1/2 hours of school tomorrow before we can finally leave!

xo
amanda

P.S. Daily victory - running for 8 minutes straight on the treadmill at the gym at 8:30pm. And yeah, it was only at a 4.5 speed. And yeah, it was only 8 minutes. But if anyone knew what a HUGE accomplishment that is for me, they'd also know how incredibly psyched i was afterwards. Running high!!!