Where I Come from, Part I

**This doesn't really have anything to do with College OR Cardio, but it's a look back at one of the major shaping factors of my life. Maybe I need to understand how I've become who I am before I can truly figure out how to proceed with my fitness goals. My next entry will focus more on my relationship and the numerous challenges it presents.**

Whew! Last day of regular semester classes before finals is DONE!

I like school. I really do. I enjoy learning new things and sharing my knowledge where I can, and I absolutely have adored every single experience and (most) professors that I have taken classes from. Maybe this is because I am finally getting as close to the "real college experience" as I can. Let me explain...

My grades started slipping in high school, and I was very unmotivated about going to college. My mom and dad forced a life plan out of me, which basically amounted to me following in my father's footsteps, and I grudgingly agreed. Their conditions for paying for college were that they wouldn't pay for a traditional college experience until I began to show some effort and got as close to straight As as physically possible. My first semester at the local community college, I took my EMT class and that was that. Emergency medicine had exerted its hold on me. Soon enough, I had a job working in the field and decided to put my classes on hold while I figured out my life. And for 5 years, my EMT certification was enough.

While I have decided to move on from medicine, I by no means regret the role that it played in my life, or even the fact that I put off school to pursue it. Yeah, it has been beyond frustrating some days to watch my former high school classmates celebrate their college experiences, graduate, start and finish grad school, and start planning the next steps in their life, like marriage and babies. I want a lot of those things too! But then I think about all the experiences and opportunities I received through my chosen path that those classmates will NEVER experience.

I witnessed both birth and death in the ER by the time I was 20.
I was instrumental in saving lives.
I rode the streets of a city in both ambulances and fire trucks, letting their wailing sirens reverberate to my very core. That sound will always have a place in my heart and always make it quicken...
I watched many times as a helicopter took off, rushing to bring patients back to us, patients who had injuries that are barely believable.
I comforted.
I cried.
I reprimanded the drunks who said dirty things to make any normal woman blush.
I washed blood off of skin and out of hair.
I zipped body bags.
I held babies.
I lived and learned.

My life has been a juxtaposition of both good and bad, but what shines through the darkness the most is that emergency medicine brought me an amazing and intelligent man with a good heart and a kind soul.  If I had made on single different choice on the navigation of my early life, I wouldn't have found him.

xoxo
amanda